The “Break”: Misinformation was rampant. School was canceled, then on break, then going back next week in the span of a conversation. At the track meet, someone yelled, “we just got the call!” We went to school the next day. People couldn’t decide if Friday the 13th was our last day for the year. All my friends convinced our parents to have a sleepover on the 14th. They were cautious but not strictly distancing, yet. We all went to Zoe’s. We ate and drank. We all slept in the same beds and stayed in one room. We talked about what we thought about Corona. Julian said we were done for the year. Lola was in denial. My mom, a doctor, had said life was going to be different for the next couple years, so that’s the stance I took. But it didn’t matter that night. It wasn’t even the focus. We had a spring break early, and that got me and Victoria out of a math assignment, so we were happy.
Emotional Deception: School had ended, no teachers assigned anything. I had two easy AP tests that I was set up to do well on. I wasn’t seeing my friends ever. I started staying up till 2 on calls. I always go to bed near midnight, if not eleven. My parents couldn’t even complain, I had nothing to get up for. Life was grey, I was tired and emotionally drained. I drowned out my sadness by starting conversations with random highschoolers around the world. My snap score was increasing at an unimaginable rate. I had no commitments and nothing to do.
Building Rhythm: I signed up for internships. The ones I had set up were canceled. I started to work on those. I played video games with my friends. We restarted D&D. I went down to parking decks with my friends and we’d sit in a big circle with masks and talk. We’d talk about how we felt. We’d talk about the weather. A lot of the time there was nothing to talk about. Cross County summer training started. Every day at 6 I’d run with some of the boys. I went to bed on time, woke up early. I ate eggs and programmed for my internships. I saw my friends on the weekend. I did a virtual mock trial camp. I had something to live for again. I stopped talking to people I didn’t know online, and I got happier again. I’d wake up, eat, work, eat, work, run, eat, play league, text friends, sleep. Everyday. The monotony got to me. But at least I had something to do.
A New Year: School was about to start, my internships finished. I started texting a girl I met last year on Halloween. She went to East; she made me laugh. I saw my friends more. We bought bubble tea. School started. It was different. I lost all the socializing aspects. Now I sit in front of a screen and try to manage my time. I see the girl, now my girlfriend about once a week, I wish it was more. I see my friends once a week, I wish it was more. I wish I could hug them, and cuddle like we used to. Talking about our feelings and laughing helps anyway. Now as I write this I note it’s terribly bleak. I’m not particularly sad right now, but the quality of my life is so much worse than it once was. It’s a new school year. I will use it the best I can.